Have you and your partner not been able to sync up on times when it comes to your desires? Are there always excuses as to why now is never the right time? I’m sure you will agree that it often leaves one of you feeling guilty or anxious and the other a little frustrated, resulting in both of you feeling completely stuck.

Or maybe you feel like your desires have been clashing with your partner’s and the bedroom has become a place of contention and stress instead of desire, pleasure, and restful sleep. Having different levels of desire is completely normal, many things can affect it on a daily or even yearly basis. It’s also unrealistic to expect both of you to want intimacy at the same time, in the same way, every time.

But the problem comes when the lack of desire and intimacy becomes a stressor in your relationship. However, don’t worry because you are not alone. Many couples experience desire discrepancy. Luckily there are multiple ways to work on it!

Signs your relationship is suffering, and how to elevate intimacy. 

There are multiple reasons why you might be experiencing dwindling intimacy, stress being one of the big ones. Stress, unfortunately, can come from all directions, including work, finances, family and friends. Making it difficult to unwind and relax, potentially causing a decrease in your drive and desire. From an emotional view, you might find that you also tend to argue more frequently during times of high stress, pushing you away from one another. This often makes you or your partner feel like you can’t get along, causing one or both of you to pull back from communicating.

Another factor is your daily schedule. If you are both working and barely get time to see each other, it can be difficult to keep that spark alive. Especially when you have childcare commitments. Personal issues are also a big cause of a lack of intimacy. For example, self-esteem issues could cause you to pull back unintentionally because you are unhappy with yourself. Another important aspect is mental health. If one of you is struggling with your mental health, this can have a knock-on effect.

If you’re feeling like there’s a lack of intimacy in your relationship, this doesn’t mean it’s going to be the end. There are a few simple things you can do to revive it:

• Communicate effectively

We’ve heard it before and we’ll say it again: Communication is key.

When you practice having honest discussions with your partner, your relationship becomes better and properly nurtured. Proper communication is as much about effective listening as it is about putting things into words. If you don’t talk and listen to your partner, it can become hard to know what they feel and think. This includes telling them what you like, and don’t like, in the bedroom. Give it a go, we promise it isn’t as scary as you might think.

• Make time for one another.

Pencil your partner in and make time for them outside the house. Life gets busy we get that, but making up excuses at the end of the day that you’re too “tired” to spend time together can have dire effects on your relationship. Spending quality time in a different environment is important as this way you can ensure your focus can be on each other, allowing you to enjoy one another’s company without distractions (housework, kids, work etc). A healthy and happy relationship relies on making time for each other.

• Couples that supplement together, stay together!

Relationships aren’t always a walk in the park, but when both sides put in the work, the results are so worth it. With a natural boost from VitaminMe’s latest addition, the path to enhancing a deeper connection and more passionate intimate moments is so much easier and oh-so-enjoyable. This little number will help bring the heat back to the bedroom and will get you and your partner’s intimacy back on track with enhanced desire, drive, and sensation.

• Do acts of service

Many people appreciate acts of service irrespective of how big these acts are. It’s important to distinguish the intentionality of acts of service from an expectation of servitude. Before you do this, you have to know what your partner dislikes doing and leverage this by doing something that makes their life easier or more enjoyable. It’s not surprising it’s one of the many love languages.

• Take responsibility

Don’t be quick to put all the blame on your other half when it comes to sorting out conflicts in your relationship. It’s important before reacting impulsively to take a step back and allow yourself to process the situation and take ownership and responsibility for your actions. Taking responsibility creates trust and dependability in a relationship and shows your partner your willingness, to be honest, and vulnerable. This behaviour will encourage your partner to also be open and authentic with you.

Why intimacy is so important for more than just a healthy relationship?

A positive and intimate relationship is not only fulfilling and makes you feel valued and connected to your partner; they’ve also been associated with numerous health benefits. These benefits include:

• Lower blood pressure

Positive and nurturing relationships help reduce anxiety which is one of the major determinants of high blood pressure. Partners in love feel more relaxed, and they engage more in healthy activities (wink, wink).

• Reduced stress

A committed and nurturing relationship reduces the production of the stress hormone cortisol. The reason is you have a partner that provides you with social and emotional support and also makes you feel wanted and desired in an intimate setting. They show you care in a relationship, and this is what most people crave.

• A better sense of purpose

When you love and nurture what you share with your partner, it gives both of you a better sense of purpose. 

If you have plans for your future, it becomes easy to achieve them because you are in a meaningful and committed relationship with someone who wants the best for you, and vice versa.

Be aware of your partner’s needs, and desires both emotionally and in the bedroom and place importance on keeping your fire burning and the spark alive, not just during the honeymoon phase, but always.